I will not play tug-of-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.

The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.

I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.

I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.

I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.

I will not eat the cats’ food, before or after they eat it.

I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.

I will not throw up in the car.

I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.

I will not lick my human’s face after eating animal poop.

“Kitty box crunchies” are not food.

I will not eat any more socks and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.

The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.

I will not wake Mommy up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.

I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.

I will not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.

When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.

We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each time I hear one on TV.

I will not steal my Mom’s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.

The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.

My head does not belong in the refrigerator.

I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.

A dog owner in

Dallas had a pit bull that hated to walk. He kept sitting down and bracing his feet so that his owner would have to drag him by his leash. The owner finally gave up when he realized that he was creating a . . . bottomless pit!

I have a dog that talks in its sleep but one day a visitor was astonished to hear the dog bellow “My name is Christopher Columbus! I am seven hundred years old! I own

America! I married Marilyn Monroe!” When the visitor asked what was going on, I replied,… “Don’t worry about it. . . . just let sleeping dogs lie.” (By Sandy Illes)

In the early 1700s, the captain of a Spanish pirate ship was very proud of his mongrel pet for its ability to bark once for “Si,” and twice for “No.” After being captured by a British commander, the dog was taught the same trick in English. He thereby became . . . the world’s first “Si” and “Aye” dog! (By Robert W. Leisure)

One time my father accompanied me when I took my dog out for his evening constitutional. My dog is rather finicky about where he “does it.” I wondered aloud about the criterion he uses to select a spot. My father replied, … “it’s a process of elimination!”Received from Stan Kegel.

Guard Dogs

A man who wanted a dog to protect his business, visited a kennel that specialised in attack dogs. The man explained to the kennel owner that he wanted the biggest, meanest, most vicious dog in the kennel, and the owner offered to take the man on a tour of the premise.

After they had been walking for a few minutes, they came upon a large dog, snarling loudly, and biting and clawing at the cage.“He looks like he’d be a pretty good attack dog,” said the buyer.

“Well, he’s not bad,” replied the owner, “but I have a different one in mind for you.”They continued walking around the premises, and after a while they found an even larger, meaner dog than the first. He snarled at the two men and tried to bite them through the wire on his cage.

“Ah,” said the buyer. “This must be the dog you were referring to earlier.”

“Well, no.” said the owner. “I have something better in mind for you.”The men continued their tour. Eventually, they came upon a large dog, panting heavily and lying quietly on his side, licking his own butt. He seemed unaware of the men’s approach.

“This is the dog I had in mind for you,” said the owner.The buyer was flabbergasted. “You’re joking!” he exclaimed. “This dog is tame compared to the others; he doesn’t even act like an attack dog.”

“I know he appears tame now,” said the owner. “But you see, he just ate a lawyer, and he’s trying to get the taste out of his mouth.” 

Silly dog Rustyt make his move on the cat! Good luck with that Rusty! Once you go cat, you never go back!!

I love this picture.  It show just how fluffy these little dogs are!

Yes, I was not bringing my “A” game yesterday. I did however realize it after the fact. It’s good to mix things up now and then.  See post here!

To celebrate my screw up, I have invited some guests to comment on my post from yesterday!

Commentator #1, Alan Shepperd: “Mmmm, that cat looked mighty tasty! I’m licking my lips just thinking about it!”

Commentator #2, Beauford BloodHound: “Ewww, a cat! Yuck!”

Commentator #3, Harry D Dog: “Hey baby, You busy later?” Ok, Harry that is a little strange, but we value all opinions here at Silly Dogs.

Commentator #4, Marvelous Mutt: “Fabulous! Simply Darling! We need more posts like that here on Silly Dogs. Be bold girl! or Boy, whatever you are cat! Be proud!”

Well, that’s it for my guest commentators! If you would like to add your own, feel free to email them to me at sillypetsnet@gmail.com

It’s a new page I posted.  Thanks to my brother Mike for the story! Check it out here!  Or click on the picture below!

Viggo Mortenson gets in the act! That or he is getting choked himself!  It’s tough to tell.

The look on this dogs face is priceless!  I wouldn’t want to smell that underwear either!!

Thanks to my brother Mike for the pic!